How to Overcome Loneliness and Make New Friends

I’m sure everyone has felt lonely at one time or another and in these times of rapid technological growth the feeling of loneliness appears to be ever increasing. Loneliness is an unpleasant feeling in which a person experiences a strong sense of emptiness and solitude resulting from inadequate levels of social connection. Loneliness is a subjective experience and you don’t have to be alone to feel lonely, it is quiet possible to feel lonely within a crowd or group.

Common aspects associated with loneliness include;

•Thinking your problems are so unique that other people won’t understand
•Feeling that others have friends and you don’t
•Feeling extremely self-conscious in everything you do
•When in a crowd you may feel drowned by the voices
•Feeling disconnected from the crowd or group you are in
•Feeling shy and scared of others
•Experiencing low self-esteem
•Feeling angry, defensive and critical at everything even when it is not directed at you
•Being afraid to start conversations with strangers
•Being convinced there is something wrong with you
•Feeling anxious and sad believing no one knows how miserable/isolated you feel
•Losing your capacity to be assertive and feeling invisible
•Refusing to accept change and not wanting to try anything new
•Feeling as though nothing else matters and contemplating suicide

In today’s society the basis of trust between people is eroding and less people are opening up to one another. By failing to open up to others the sense of loneliness is increased as others also avoid opening up us. It is said that if you want to be surrounded by friends, be a friend to others first.It should be no surprise that love gives life to others however it is important to remember that in order to love someone else effectively, we must love ourselves first. You can’t give what you don’t have.

Overcoming loneliness involves doing things for yourself, learning to feel better about yourself and developing friendships with others. Here are some practical ideas you can use to assist in overcoming loneliness;

•Remind yourself the feeling of loneliness is temporary
•Put yourself in situations where you will meet people
•Make an effort to speak to someone new
•Join societies like church groups, volunteer organizations etc
•Stop listening to lonely songs
•Open yourself to others
•Don’t judge new people on the basis of past relationships with previous people
•Intimate friendships usually develop gradually as people learn to share their inner feelings with each other
•Lead a well-balanced life and pay attention to nutrition, exercise and getting sufficient sleep
•Spend time alone for self-reflection
•Reflect back on good memories and be grateful for what you have
•Learn a new skill e.g. dancing, drawing, painting etc
•Spend time meditating or praying
•If you feel you need assistance with overcoming loneliness or you are feeling depressed don’t be afraid to seek help from a professional

As technology increases and allows us to do so much more from our own homes the level of isolation and loneliness that people feel also appears to be increasing. The only way that loneliness is going to be overcome is to have social interaction with other people. If you want to feel less lonely, then you are going to have to be the one to do something about it, it is unlikely that you are going to have people to socialize with unless you make an effort to put yourself in situations where there are people to interact with. You might find that if you try some of the suggestions above you might just have some fun in the process and discover some skills you didn’t know you had.